Sometimes for no apparent reason at some point in the middle of any day , evening or night, a sense of foreboding engulfs me. Its not a darkness or greyness that overshadows my mind and makes the whole world seem negative…It doesn’t create the panic attacks or need to hide away that a dark cloud would do… like they used to.
These sensations sit in my gut, like they’re churning and curdling inside me. They come without warning and are tough to shift.
Sometimes I can pinpoint their origin. It might have been from bumping into an ex-friend, or a simple throw away comment within a conversation. Or from a place.
This sensation engulfed me as I toured around a house clearance. The ‘negative engery’ purveyed my whole body. As I walked home I felt a deepening saddness and cried. After that came this increasing unease and unrest.
I’ve never really thought much about spirits and ghosts, conscious afterlife etc. But I do believe that energy sustains. In death our energy (maybe this is what others call the soul or subconscious) must move on. Its a basic law of physics…”energy is neither created nor destroyed”. Our body decays and the component parts return to the earth, nitrogen and neutrients feed new plants and life.
I also having a ‘weirder’ belief that all materials absorb energy to a greater or lesser degree. Take old fashioned cassettes… they’re just a material that ‘absorbs aand replays’ sound….{Ok techies – take the piss} I believe that to a lesser extent bricks absorb sound. In fact the fabric of any building does. The building replays recordings of conversations held within its range, we might not hear it back with our ears but its there.
When I walk into a building I ‘feel’ the building. We all do I think, some buildings feel happy, others sad. It has nothing to do with the appauling or perfect decor, or the cleanliness of a place. Its a subconscious vibration in our inner ancient being. I’ve been into new builds and felt nothing at all. Just impassive and blank.
When we visited our current home it looked terrible; crumbling walls, blackened flaking wallpaper, dirty carpets, the filth of coal dust and dog hair and a space to big to be maintained decade upon decade. But the vibrations were good. The house sang a joyous song.
The building at the weekend was pained. I cannot properly describe it but some of that pain has burrowed into my core and I cannot shake it off.
Sounds crazy. Maybe. But I’m sharing it with you all. Feel free to reflect and respond…..
Wonderful post Berni, and I’ve felt this too.
Our old home just outside London, was on the market for £10K more than any other in the street, but as soon as we arrived in the driveway, I knew we would be happy there. We lived there (mostly very happily) for 22 years.
In December 2014, when we saw the home that has brought our worlds together, in glorious Myddfai, I got the same feeling, again before even going through the front door – or gate in this case. Just knew; I could feel the cottage and garden crying out to be loved. It felt not just like we’d found the home of our dreams, but that the cottage had been waiting for us. It was on the market for a very long time and the people living here were so sad and miserable, I do believe that energy had impacted the cottage and grounds.
I love how honest and connected you are with your feelings. Thank you so much for sharing and I hope you have a wonderful day in your amazing home, which welcomes and invites you to feel relaxed from the moment you get to the driveway.
much love, Dinah xxx