I love writing about the real couples whose services and celebrations I’ve helped create. This intimate Buddhist ceremony for Hanh and Martin was an absolute joy and privilege.
Martin and Hahn’s was all the more special because it involved sharing cultural and spiritual practice with guests who were unfamiliar with them, and afforded them the opportunity to learn and experience something new. For me it meant researching and linking up with some of their friends in Vietnam and Singapore for guidance and translation
The Buddha has said if two people can find suitable and understanding partners in each other they are very fortunate indeed
Hanh is Vietnamese, most her family, including her mother and brothers, live in Vietnam. Their Guru, Sisira, who they had hoped could be here, was in Singapore. Martin is British . Both are Buddhist.
A meaningful location
I was absolutely delighted when asked to create an intimate ceremony for a dozen friends and family in their own restaurant and hostelry, The Bear, with a video link to Singapore and Vietnam. It was important that the ceremony was authentically Buddhist but with a western twist so those locals attending felt comfortable but also enlightened.
Their wonderful team at their pub in Llandovery, managed to set up the big screen to live stream the celebration to all those unable to attend. And, whilst they were at the Registry Office, we decorated the back bar and created a beautiful flower arch .
A bilingual celebration
With the help Giang, in Vietnam, the entire script was translated into Vietnamese so the family could follow along.
Martin wrote his vows in English and she translated them for me into Vietnamese. Hanh wrote hers in Vietnamese as I felt she could be more authentic if she expressed herself in her first language) and translated them into English. Hanh’s mum wrote a poem in her native tongue and again, Giang, translated it into English for us.
As the ceremony proceeded we moved between the two languages. Martin read his in English then, Hanh’s son Hai read a translated version. Hanh read hers in Vietnamese, then I read a translated version. After mum read her poem I read the translation
Including Buddhist Rituals and Ensuring Cultural Appreciation
But before any of the service was read we began with the lighting of candles and incense at the altar to the ancestors with pictures of Martin’s Dad and Brother who are no longer with us. Then the Buddhist Metta Prayer ( the Prayer of Loving Kindness) and the prayer was used as a basis for a guided meditation along with an explanation for cultural appreciation. (At a Vietnamese wedding there would would be several hours of pre-ceremony meditation).
The Manji
The Manji is an ancient spiritual symbol from Japanese Buddhism.
It represents the harmonious interplay of the many opposites in life, for example heaven and earth, day and night.
The horizontal lines unite light and darkness, while the perpendicular lines symbolically connect heaven and earth; and these two combined, form a cross representing the universe in harmony beyond the limits of time and space. From this harmony comes the power that creates and nurtures all things.
The ‘trailing’ lines at the ends of the cross represent the truth that the universe and all things in it are in a perpetual state of flux, nothing is permanent, change is constant.
Buddhist Prayer of Loving Kindness
My heart fills with loving kindness. I love myself. May I be happy. May I be well. May I be peaceful. May I be free.
May all beings in my vicinity be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings in my city be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings in my state be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings in my country be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings on my continent be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings in my hemisphere be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings on planet Earth be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May my parents be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all my friends be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all my enemies be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
May all beings in the Universe be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
If I have hurt anyone, knowingly or unknowingly in thought, word or deed, I ask for their forgiveness.
If anyone has hurt me, knowingly or unknowingly in thought, word or deed, I extend my forgiveness.
May all beings everywhere, whether near or far, whether known to me or unknown, be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be free.
It was a magical day, the hottest of the year here in Mid Wales, so colourful, so joyful. Filled with Love, kindness, laughter, and friendship. filled with connection, care, compassion and community. All the ingredients for a perfect marriage. Thank you Martin and Hanh, Mr and Mrs Blake, for entrusting your celebration to me, for inviting me into your community, and becoming good friends.
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