It can be lonely at Christmas. For some people, the approach of December brings worry, and sadness, even dread and fear.
As TV and social media highlight “The Joys of Christmas”
Much of the message of Christmas is lost.
Disclaimer here. I am an atheist. In fact I’m an atheist Jew. As a woman born of Jewish parents, despite the non-practice, I am, by definition, always a Jew. It travels the female line!! However, as a family, we have, always, throughout my childhood, at least in a small way, celebrated, Christmas. Just not Christmas in (what I believe to be) the Christian sense of it. So I guess, like the majority of families, by buying into the commercial frenzy of buying stuff and eating stuff!
That sounds flippant. I’m sorry. I love so many things about December and ‘Christmas’ , I love the gathering of friends, the sharing of food and drink, the house full of my children and grandchildren. even the gifting to some extent.
Not the commercialism of it, or the pressure to buy gifts in case others buy gifts. The comparable spend, the gifts for the sake of gifts. I love giving.. I do prefer doing it on a ‘just because’ basis if I see something and think of someone.
I hate the constant advertising that this year, began in August! I nearly stamped on my mobile phone for presenting m with a Christmas add then! I hate the pressure I feel to join in. I love a Christmas market, and seeing the twinkly lights and smelling the mulled wine and roasting chestnuts and Christmas cheer ( oops, I’ve fallen into a cheesy Christmas movie!). Oh yes, I also love a cheesy Christmas movie!
I have a love-hate-love relationship with Christmas
It Can be Lonely At Christmas so Take A Moment
December can be a barrage of messaging and marketing, that for many, serves to highlight, loneliness, absence, financial pressure and a sense of inadequacy. It can be stressful, isolating, terrifying, heart-breaking.
I don’t want to put a downer on anyone’s Christmas, however you do it, if you are looking forward to it. Good for you (and me). We all deserve to enjoy a time of giving, gathering and sharing. Whatever form that takes.
However, this post is not about those who are looking forward to “the holidays”. It might, however, BE for those. As
just as a reminder to be a little more empathetic and little less self absorbed and egotistic. (That is not a criticism, we all are, a little of that, swept along by our own holiday plans – its human and it’s fine).
I am not bah-humbugging over your plans. I am exceptionally happy for those looking forward to their holidays and their families and their gifts. You (we) are, all good people, getting caught up and looking forward to doing your (our) thing. Expressing our joy and our love and our excitement. Carry on.
I just wanted to remind myself and gentle nudge you, to take a moment:
There will be neighbours, communities, even friends, who are not as fortunate as you today, this month.
Who are in a spiral of anxiety. Or depression. Or fear. Or heightened loneliness, grief, despair.
As we spend on gifts and talk about love and family and gastronomic delights.
Just take a moment .
There will be a neighbour who cannot afford that dream gift for their child
Their will be that child who wonders why Santa didn’t gift them.
There will be a friend or neighbour reeling from the heightened sense of loss and grief at the absence of a partner, parent or child.
There will be someone who is feeling so lonely and so unseen.
There will be someone who is terrified of an abusive partner or parent.
Someone dying . Someone sitting alongside a loved one who is dying.
Not everyone is having a great time. Even if you think they are. Not everyone is excited about extra time at home. Sharing with friends and family. Eating hot food in a warm and welcoming home.
Mental health issues, grief, homelessness, suicide, abuse, debt, isolation.
I am not saying don’t enjoy your Christmas.
I’m just gently nudging you (and me) to remember to hold open our hearts, ears, arms, even doors, to those around us who may need something just as simple as to be seen. It really can be lonely at Christmas
If you are in need of support this Christmas season please reach out
It can be lonely at Christmas, so thankyou for this from Citizens Advice
If you’re a victim of domestic violence
The National Domestic Abuse helpline is open 24 hours a day and can be contacted on 0808 2000 247. If you’re in an emergency situation you should call 999.
If you or someone you know needs emergency housing
If you’re worried about someone you’ve seen sleeping rough, you can connect them with local services that can support them through StreetLink. If you’re at risk of sleeping rough, you could get a place to stay in a hostel, night shelter, refuge or bed and breakfast if you’re homeless.
You can also get help from Shelter if you’re worried about housing.
If you or someone you know if finding things tough
This time of year can be hard. But there’s support available if you need it.
The Samaritans is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and can be contacted on 116 123 or by email : jo@samaritans.org.
Switchboard is a helpline for LGBT+ people and is open 10am until 10pm everyday. You can call them on 0800 0119 100 or use their online chat.
Shout 85258 is a 24 hours a day text service which offers mental health support. You can contact them by texting SHOUT to 85258.
Other useful numbers
You might also find the following contact numbers useful.
The Silver Line — a helpline for older people ran by Age UK.
- Call 0800 4 70 80 90
- Open 24 hours a day
NSPCC Helpline — if you’re worried about a child.
- Call 0808 800 5000
- Open Mon — Fri 10am to 8pm
Power cut 105 — if you have a power cut
- Call 105
- Open 24 hours a day
- Call 0808 8020 133
- Open 24 hours a day
