As part of our Ask A Celebrant Series, Dinah Liversidge and I have been writing for The Journal, A publication by The British Institute of Funeral Directors. Our second episode for them was in August 24, where we discuss funerals and inclusivity.
Here is a summary of the episode and a link to the full article and the whole journal !
Funeral Directors and Celebrants, work hard to ensure that all mourners have access to and feel equally welcomed at any service. This time we share some ideas on how to make the planning, the ceremony and the follow-up
more inclusive, enhancing the experience and reducing the stress, for our clients and those who are grieving.
BEFORE THE FUNERAL: ENSURING ACCESSIBILITY AND INCLUSION IN PLANNING
Berni: Our role is to facilitate and guide people into and through unfamiliar and potentially highly emotive territory. We all do it as second nature but adding just a few things to our checklist we can ensure
ALL mourners feel welcome. Ask your next of kin if there is anyone in the congregation who might need reassurance or adaptation to feel comfortable attending. Secondly, allay fear. I’ve never officiated a ceremony where an unexpected interruption from a child, person with dementia or baby crying hasn’t relaxed the mood.
Thirdly, do your homework, pre-visit a crematorium and check everything you need is there or can be put there and where to find it
Dinah: I often begin by asking if any attendees have mobility challenges. This allows us to liaise with the venue about their access, including ramps, parking, and accessible toilets. We should also consider the layout of the seating, ensuring there is enough space for those with mobility aids to move freely.
Inquire about sensory sensitivities among guests, and understanding and planning for these needs can greatly reduce anxiety and make the experience more manageable for those have disabilities or are neurodiverse.
AT THE SERVICE: CREATING AN INCLUSIVE AND WELCOMING ENVIRONMENT
Dinah: On the day of the service, it’s our responsibility to ensure that the inclusive plans made during the preparation phase are effectively implemented. This includes everything from the physical setup of the venue to the emotional atmosphere we create for those attending.
Work with the venue staff to ensure that all accessible entrances are clearly marked and easily navigable. Seating should be arranged to accommodate those with mobility devices without segregating them. For those with hearing or visual impairments, ensure that they are seated in areas where they can fully engage with the service, with access to any assistive technologies. Consider designating a quiet space where those who need a moment of solitude can retreat.
Berni: Set the tone. If there are children, show the family where the exists and loos are should they need to get up
and move during the ceremony. Perhaps set up an area at the back with a few cushions and toys.
As a celebrant I always remind the family that it’s not a performance, it is a process to help them, whatever they need is what matters. And if I know there might be ‘interruptions’, I’ll add some words to my intro to ensure that those who are caring for others who may do the interrupting are aware that it is okay.
CONTINUE WITH YOUR FOLLOW-UP
Berni: Check in. You’ll be doing it anyway for the next of kin, so whilst you’re at it, find out if everyone felt catered for, ask if there was anything else you could have done to relax and include others in the future. Think about how you communicate with the NOK. In print, is it large enough? Is the language clear enough? Would it be better to communicate by voice?
Dinah: Inclusivity doesn’t end when the funeral service concludes. The follow-up period is equally
important in ensuring that all mourners feel supported as they begin the process of grieving and healing.
After the service, reach out to your clients to gather feedback.
Offer information on resources to the family and mourners that cater to diverse needs. This might include grief
counselling services that are accessible to people with disabilities, support groups that respect different cultural
backgrounds, or even printed materials in multiple languages for non-English-speaking mourners.
Keep the lines of communication open with your clients after the service.
IN CONCLUSION
It’s easy, as a celebrant, to forget how daunting and alien the spaces we inhabit for work are for families. So, every
now and again, just take a moment to remember what a hearse, coffin, crematorium felt like on that first
occasion… and then imagine it again without the interest in having a career working with it.
By making inclusivity a priority before, during, and after the funeral service, we not only enhance the
experience for all mourners but also uphold the dignity and respect that every individual deserves in their time
of grief. Through thoughtful planning, attentive service, and compassionate follow-up, we can ensure that
everyone feels welcome and supported during one of life’s most challenging moments
You can read the full article here : Issue 8 “How Can We Take Away the Fear From Children Experiencing Loss”.
Or you can listen to our Podcast on the subject by following this link
The BIFD, British Institute Of Funeral Directors, “was established in 1982 by members of the NAFD (National Association of Funeral Directors), to be the pre-eminent provider of education for the UK funeral profession while enabling members of the public the opportunity to identify Funeral Directors that offer the best possible professional services.”
Dinah Liversidge is a certified celebrant, trainer and coach, She works one-to-one with students, supporting them in becoming exceptional wedding and funeral celebrants, through her business, Celebrant Coaching and Training Academy
